Faith Transforms Fear

This week has been a struggle. I am not sure why or where it stemmed from. The ugly head of worry and despair showed itself throughout this week. I could feel myself battling between spirit and flesh. I went to church today under the guise of routine, knowing full well I wasn't prepared for worship. Isn't it great that God isn't limited by my attitude? As I fumbled my way through the worship songs I felt my bitterness melting. There is just something about community; authentic Christian fellowship in openness, living the life of Jesus. And then the sermon, which seemed written directly to me. Isn't it weird how God can bring about a timing that touches so many at the right moment? We studied the antithesis of worry and despair- faith. There are times when God asks you to live by faith without finite results. Going without knowing. I still try to medicate my faith with control- the worst of all snake oils. Control gives me the illusion of results, temporarily reducing the dependence on faith. Reading Mark 4:35-41, I can see that I am not alone in my worry. The the disciples had listened to Jesus' preaching all day, even the parable of the sower- about faith. As night falls and they get into the boat with Jesus and a great storm comes and threatens to overturn the boat. Where is Jesus? Asleep in the bow... classic Jesus, unafraid never wavering. His disciples wake him and say, "teacher, don't you care if we drown?" In the presence of Jesus they still struggled with faith.

It occurs to me that I know what has brought on my bout of worry, lack of communion this week. How quickly I can forget his promises when my flesh is guiding the ship. God breaks out his resume in Hebrews 11. Example after example of his promises.

So, I now have a smile back on my face. Worry and despair are still calling my name, but I can just barely hear them off in the distance. The sea has calmed.