Faith Transforms Fear

This week has been a struggle. I am not sure why or where it stemmed from. The ugly head of worry and despair showed itself throughout this week. I could feel myself battling between spirit and flesh. I went to church today under the guise of routine, knowing full well I wasn't prepared for worship. Isn't it great that God isn't limited by my attitude? As I fumbled my way through the worship songs I felt my bitterness melting. There is just something about community; authentic Christian fellowship in openness, living the life of Jesus. And then the sermon, which seemed written directly to me. Isn't it weird how God can bring about a timing that touches so many at the right moment? We studied the antithesis of worry and despair- faith. There are times when God asks you to live by faith without finite results. Going without knowing. I still try to medicate my faith with control- the worst of all snake oils. Control gives me the illusion of results, temporarily reducing the dependence on faith. Reading Mark 4:35-41, I can see that I am not alone in my worry. The the disciples had listened to Jesus' preaching all day, even the parable of the sower- about faith. As night falls and they get into the boat with Jesus and a great storm comes and threatens to overturn the boat. Where is Jesus? Asleep in the bow... classic Jesus, unafraid never wavering. His disciples wake him and say, "teacher, don't you care if we drown?" In the presence of Jesus they still struggled with faith.

It occurs to me that I know what has brought on my bout of worry, lack of communion this week. How quickly I can forget his promises when my flesh is guiding the ship. God breaks out his resume in Hebrews 11. Example after example of his promises.

So, I now have a smile back on my face. Worry and despair are still calling my name, but I can just barely hear them off in the distance. The sea has calmed.

Great Song

I can't embed the video because it is protected but the following link will take you to a youtube video of a song written by a young girl in Rockwall, Texas. The song is about the people of Haiti in the wake of the tragic earthquake. I love her words, "there is still good news and peace to be found."

"He still sees"

Continued Blogging

Even though I am finished with the original fast I am going to continue to blog on this post. I find writing to be cathartic, and it allows me to collect my thoughts. My goal is to continue fasting as God leads throughout the year, so I will add a few articles and sites to the blog that have been beneficial to me. Feel free to send any articles, praises, or thoughts for me to post at any time. So with that said...

God has really been revealing to me the concept of time. Someone said at church tonight, "God is always on time, just not always your time". Interesting how that works isn't it? In a society driven by efficiency, time is of the essence. I was listening to the daily audio bible today, more specifically, the story of Joseph. Joseph was 17 years old when God spoke to him in a dream and it wasn't until he was 30 years old that this dream came to fruition. During these 13 years Joseph was sold into slavery, falsely accused, put in prison, and separated from his family. Talk about waiting on God's perfect timing. I wonder if Joseph was ever bitter during those years? How many people would have given up on God's perfect plan during that time? Joseph later became the second most powerful man in the world. He lived another 80 years. I would guess that he later looked back at those 13 years with an acumen fondness- as a time which developed the root system for the enormous tree of his life.

An End And A Beginning

My fast has finally come to a close. It almost feels like a beginning rather than an end. I am 12 pounds lighter, but my heart is heavier than ever before. A spark that once dwindled to an ember has grown to a flame, now it’s a torch, and it’s becoming a wildfire. Before the days of the match you never wanted to let your fire go out because it was such an ordeal to reignite the fire. So I say, God take away all the matches in this house! WHOOOO! Isn’t God awesome? Words cannot capture the intensity of the God we serve but…

We serve a God who is alive, authentic, blessed, caring, committed, compassionate, dedicated, discerning, encouraging, energized, engaging, faithful, fun, fired-up, generous, humble, hungry, intentional, intimate, intense, joyful, loving, magnetic, miraculous, neighborly, open, obedient, passionate, powerful, progressive, redeeming, radical, relevant, respected, sacrificial, spirit-filled, sincere, submissive, tenacious, transformed, trustworthy, unified, unselfish, unwavering, valiant, victorious, whole hearted, wise, wonderful, xenial, youthful, zealous, and zestful. Just to name a few.

God has shown me so much over the past two weeks, so I wanted to share a few thoughts. First, prayer is powerful. For a long time I would talk to God as if he was a magician that would grant some of my wishes that likened his pleasure. This is a falsity relegated by a world of self centeredness. God longs to hear from you and me. He begs to move into a world of two way communication, in which, I can align my heart with his. Secondly, you never know where you stand with your faith until you stretch yourself a little. For some, faith comes naturally but for most faith is the result of hard battles won. It is, in a sense, the glue that binds belief to truth- that which protects our reason and emotion from one another. Lastly, God is not limited by me. Across the ages he has spoken through men, bush, wind, animal, and the list goes on and on. Although his message has been steadfast for ages the delivery changes constantly. What does this mean? This means that God must radiate from me as though I am a cup overflowing so that every action in my life is permeated with Christ. You never know how God is using you as a witness to others,so consider everything you do as unto the Lord.

If you are reading this I hope that God has blessed you. I know he is calling you. How are you going to bring His Kingdom in 2010? Start with just one. Whose life will you change this year?

You have the power to make a difference and like me, you’re out of excuses!

Good Hurt or Bad Hurt?

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. - 1 Peter 4:11

What a week it has been thus far. I have felt a spiritual closeness this week like never before. Although I know I cannot continue a fast indefinitely, I yearn to continue my daily journey with the father.

In a conversion the other day a concept emerged that I think best describes my current spiritual state. Have you ever received a massage that caused you to wince when the sore muscle was touched? A saying often emerges- was it a "good" hurt or a "bad" hurt? What a peculiar idiom. Isn't all hurt bad? No, there is a pain which when deeply applied brings about immediate relief. I guess when we are not open to God's work in our lives we cannot allow him to get in deep and work in the recesses. I can attest that letting go of your inner most self can be a painful yet harmonious experience. For too many years have I resisting his call and oftentimes end up with a lot of, well, "bad" hurt.

Over Preparedness Syndrome

Do you ever feel like you can't witness to those around you because you aren't spiritual enough? What if they ask a really hard question? How many times have I said, I will witness to that person once I really get a stronger foundation?

I took an online spiritual assessment survey at my church to highlight some spiritual focus areas for 2010. Of course community effectiveness and outreach were the areas that I was weakest. I realized that my lack of action has been excused by a need to feel prepared. As I mulled over my outreach apathy a verse came to mind; 1 John 4:4 - "The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world". How blasphemous to think that my witness was based on my own capacity.

I AM PREPARED and now out of excuses.

The Evolution of Purpose

I have been reading "Surprised by Joy" by C.S. Lewis and have been struck by how God finds each of us in different ways. There does however seem to be a common thread between us all; we are all seeking purpose or are in a state of distracting ourselves from it (purpose) because we are frightened by it. There seems to be a pyramid of ascension that moves from pleasure to happiness and ultimately to joy. Most of us seem to understand pleasure at a very young age, but the problem with pleasure is that it is most often short lived. Fewer of us experience happiness and those who have experienced it seem to get lost in pursuit of it. But then there is joy. And I don't use the term loosely like so many words in the English language. Joy seems to be something that is given not taken. Joy can only be found in one place and only prolongedly experienced in our eternal existence. Joy is a glimpse into what will come. It lays dormant in our hearts and is the fuel for our engine of purpose. Just to know it exists drives use beyond happiness and pleasure, not that they cannot coexist rather that they become secondary in pursuit. In a general sense I guess you can say that the flesh seeks pleasure, the heart seeks happiness, and the soul seeks joy.

Father for so long my flesh has abated my pursuit of purpose. I ask that you continue to renew in me a purpose that overwhelms my senses. God you are the only source of true joy. Without you I am just wondering in the desert with a thirst that cannot be quenched.

Bringing About Transformation

I heard something at church last night that I just had to share. God wants us to share our faith and advance his kingdom, but how do we do it? Well, here is a simple formula that I have gotten wrong so many times:

Grace + Truth + Time = Transformation

And the ordering is very important. Think about how God has worked in your life. How often he covers us with grace and then presents the truth in our lives. Then what does he do? Like a larva beginning chrysalis he gives us time to emerge transformed into beautiful butterflies. John had it right. John 1:14 - The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only,who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. How often I have tried to cram truth down peoples throat without even a thought of grace.

Lord as I go into the world help me to see the grace you have given me and impart that precious gift on those around me. Father help me to live a life of truth that resonates to even the darkest places. And most importantly Lord help me to have the patience that only you can provide.

Matthew 19:16-22
"Now a man can up to Jesus and asked, Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life? Why do you ask me about what is good? Jesus replied, There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments. Which ones? the man inquired. Jesus replied, Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself. All these I have kept the young man replied. What do I still lack? Jesus answered, if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me. When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.


Father, I know that you demand more than just following the commandments. You require total surrender of all holding us to this world. You require sincere sacrifice. God I ask today that you please take from me those things I have not the strength to give. Father you alone know that which I do not. Although I am unsure of the path that lays before me, I am sure of one thing, the path laid out by you will lead to the richest blessings.

Great Video as per Hannah

Thanksgiving

As the arctic blast sweeps in and brings with it the cold I found myself initially bitter. I never have been one to enjoy the cold brought about by winter, so I now find myself yearning for the sweet smell of spring. However, it dawns on me that I could never really comprehend the joy of spring without the harsh reality of winter. God being such a divine architect has allowed us heightened understanding through contrast. Would there be joy without sorrow? Light without darkness? God I thank you so much for the seasons. As the seasons of my life change I experience feelings and thoughts that I never understood as a child. And so I thank you for the cold wind that you bring into my life.

John 16: 20 - 23
"I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy. It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world. So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. At that time you won’t need to ask me for anything. I tell you the truth, you will ask the Father directly, and he will grant your request because you use my name."

The Joy of Dependence

In a world of self-help books, entitlement, and me-centrism it can be hard to feel joy in dependence. We can't even have esteem without the word "self" imposed in front. God help me to expel my narcissistic tendencies. I ask that you would detoxify my heart of fear. Lord help me to align my heart, my soul, my mind, my will, and my body to your kingdom. My will is unjust and unclean but you provide me with a purpose. Lord I turn myself over to you in faith. The road ahead is sometimes scary because the flesh is frightened of that which it does not know. Father I await joyfully for your direction because I know that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for me.

Amazing Prayer Series by John Eldredge

A while back I listened to some online lectures from John Eldredge about prayer and they were instrumental in changing my prayer life. These talks are hosted at the daily audio bible and I highly, highly recommend you listen at to at least the first talk located here. Other prayer resources and talks from Eldredge can be found here.

Why Fast?

Fasting really isn't about food. To me it is about sacrifice and full commitment to giving God our attention. There are many times that John and other disciples fasted as a demonstration to God. For me personally fasting provides time for prayer and as crazy as it my sound, a deeper clarity. I think fasting should be partaken with a spirit of joy, flowing from the heart. Fasting is definitely not a way to appear more spiritual than others (see Matthew 6:16-18). My coming fast will be focused on prayer and thanksgiving rather than food. And so the rest of the posts will focus on written prayer and thanksgiving.

I hope you can join me. I hope for spiritual renewal in 2010.